anshul's garage

Who's the real Me??

2010-09-09T22:16:00.001-07:00

Sounds absurd,even to me it did.

Till two years back I used to think that my dream is synonyms with my purpose of life or rather I had never even thought that there ever existed such thing as purpose of life.
One fine day at DYC, I was asked what was my dream was.Oh, come on,everyone knows what their dreams in life are isn’t it ?
It wasn’t a new question but trust me when I actually started to pen down my aspirations for life, it started to become vague. Although it had money, family, success, children and what not but still there was something missing big time, I wasn’t feeling satisfied because:-

1. If money is the dream then how much of it ?
2. Success ? What ? Where do I want it ? Professionally/personally or what ?
3. Happiness, oh yes , I wanna be happy but what makes me happy ? Is it money or jealous neighbours and colleagues?

If these thoughts are not enough then what is missing ? I know my self the best,more than anyone else does but still I am not being able to figure it out. Why ?

Some one had to answer it.And it was answered by HIM.

Life can never be just about me.

If life was all about attaining monetary satisfaction then why are these millionaires around me so dissatisfied ?
HE said your life is about justifying the capabilities of your soul.If I am to live 70 years , my life counts for such a micro part of the human race on this planet which actually cannot be calculated.So that makes it very clear, that I cannot be the epicentre of the human race.

So money is out of the race; success and happiness can never be money,because if it was so, then with every increasing penny in my bank account all my worries would have reduced but actually they increase, isn’t it ?
Q. What will I gain by making people jealous ? A. Hatred .They’ll hate me both during and after my life.

So,it is very clear that I am here to actually do something which is much bigger than all these things.

I am here to do something the entire creation,for the person responsible who made me the way I’m and for His people.

If I had not understood myself,I would have never been able to figure out the purpose of my existence.

I would rather fail in a cause that will ultimately triumph than to triumph in a cause that will ultimately fail.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////-Wilson, Woodrow

Coming of Age

2010-09-09T22:15:00.001-07:00

Do you know what makes you happy ?
I thought i did
or was I ignorant of life ?
Too many questions
and perception is not always the truth.

Do you know who do you love ?
I thought I did
or was I ignorant of the warmth around me ?
Too may people around
and all choices we make do not turn out to as expected.

All I was, was a paper plane
floating wherever blew the winds of change.
Anyone could hold me,
anyone could have crushed me,
always wished to fly higher and free.

And every time HE told me
all I was,was a paper plane
& that too by choice so…..
do not complain.

He said
life starts at Me
and it will end with Me
all is in Me
stop looking around
what makes Me is inside Me

All I need is trust in me
to fulfill my destiny
All I need is belief in me
to bring out the best in me

All I need is courage
just to look inside me..

2010-09-09T22:15:00.000-07:00

Do you know what makes you happy ?
I thought i did
or was I ignorant of life ?
Too many questions
and perception is not always the truth.

Do you know who do you love ?
I thought I did
or was I ignorant of the warmth around me ?
Too may people around
and all choices we make do not turn out to as expected.

All I was, was a paper plane
floating wherever blew the winds of change.
Anyone could hold me,
anyone could have crushed me,
always wished to fly higher and free.

And every time HE told me
all I was,was a paper plane
& that too by choice so…..
do not complain.

He said
life starts at Me
and it will end with Me
all is in Me
stop looking around
what makes Me is inside Me

All I need is trust in me
to fulfill my destiny
All I need is belief in me
to bring out the best in me

All I need is courage
just to look inside me..

I Own You Coz Iam your DAD

2010-09-09T22:12:00.000-07:00

I just came back home late today( I am not saying late to justify my excuse of coming home late but to say that it wasn’t really that bad in comparison to its consequences).

The first thing that came my way was a tight one across my face before I could even realise how late I was.

The second thing that came my way was a series of dialogues to tell me that I should be really guilt conscious of the crime I had committed.

“We’ll die one day waiting for you” - well even I know I am late and I am sorry for it but why do you make it so melodramatic ?
“You are so careless and irresponsible . You don’t care about us.” – I really don’t know what to say to this . Sigh !
“No one can do as much as we have done for you. We are not wrong” I know I should be grateful to you, for all you have given me but why degrade the feeling by saying it.
“Your friends are more important to you than us. You don’t talk to us” -please ask yourselves why is that ? Probably it is because you never tried to be a good friend or rather never understood what I used to feel as a child.

I woke up this morning and the first thing that came to my mind was that oooh no- the same day once again !

Whats new in my life ?

And I’ll die one day still stuck with this routine – N O ! One life I want to live it.

Let me be on a high; let me live today,tomorrow can wait.

My dad left his home came to Dehradun when he was 19 and started his business and since then he has been on his own. I am 24 and still struggling to find my place.
I am not asking for any suggestions but the question remains -when you have lived your life the way you wanted to then don’t you think I deserve the same right?
Did you bring me into this world so that I will do all those things which you wanted to do always but could not or that which you would want of me ?

All in all a simple question – DO I DESERVE TO LIVE ?
Am I a dummy carrier of your emotional needs/ desires from life.

Indeed I love my parents but it doesn’t mean they own my choices.

Nature gives us an amazing example where a baby bird leaves the nest as soon as it learns to fly.
My birth was decided by my parents,true, but that I shall be born in this family,in this place at this given time,who decides that ?

Who decides my life ? It’s the almighty who must have decided this way before my parents decided to give birth to me.

So I should be more grateful to Him more than anyone else to have given me the life I am living.
He loves me so much that He never complains of what I am or when I come home late. Neither does He tell me that I should be doing things according to Him or else He will be angry.Nor does He slap me when I say I want to live.

Love is unconditional. “I will not talk to you because you didn’t do this” – how foolish is that ?

But my parents tell me, this is what is love according to them

“Son you will be never outdo us in making wiser decisions, no matter how old you grow. We will make a better choice for you because we know you every time better than you know yourself” – indirectly meaning “I OWN YOU COZ IAM YOUR DAD”

Love me before I Die...

2010-03-21T03:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes something happens around you and your mind gets so bothered with so many questions/anger/disgust/and a slew of other things.Trust me, something happened today,something like that and it was amazingly awful.

There was this lady who I used to address as my aunt,because she was really a gem of a human.
She did not have any family because dint get married and then she used to stay all alone.
All of a sudden suffered a brain hemorrhage ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerebral_hemorrhage ) , in simple language she died of hypertension.

Today in the morning when I went for cremation I saw something which is not rare – people crying loudly and a lot of melodrama of sorts ( I’d really like to use that word here )
The thing that I was wondering about was ,where were these people when the person was alive and so much in existence. Not a single soul came to appreciate or even be part of her life while she was alive. All I saw was people abusing each other and wishing for the downfall of other.
Trust me most of us are like -”hey how is that friend of yours…XYZ..”" and the answer comes..”Don’t even take his name..he is such a $#@!## ”
And the very next morning, if that XYZ was to depart from earth…we would become so humble,sombre,sober,human – wow the epitome of hypocrisy !

Common statements heard at such places:-

“He/She was such a nice person” – ( then why dint you ever care enough to tell him/her the same ever )
“Its all because of doctors/son/family/business” – (then why didn’t you ever care to talk to him )
“Death is inevitable it has to come” – ( then why are you so wrapped up in all these material things around you )

And the list is endless.I know I am sounding angry,trust me I am and more than that disgusted.

All I want to say is that why do we remember the good things about a person only when he/she is dead ?
All of us are creation of the same father of the universe and still we are so much self centred.

“I am the epicenter of this universe”
Why don’t we love each other till the time we are alive ?
You know what, your love for me would have made my world such a better place to live….

I’m short of words to express myself, really.

P.S. Please love each other till the time we are alive !

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Please marry me before I grow old and not look good

2010-03-17T12:04:00.000-07:00

My friend was complaining of growing old today.She said that she should be getting married to a good looking guy before she grows too old, and again something started to bug me.

1. Why do we complain when we grow old ?
2. Is life all about getting married ?
3. Is a person all about looks ?

Age is something which cannot be reversed.Life has phases which come one after another with passage of time and complaining will not help the cause. That was easy…huh!!

Now a difficult question..is life all about getting married.. hmm, don’t really know but one thing is for sure life is just not about getting married only. If I ask my parents they have a very clear view that everything in their opinion is related to marriage…like we grow, we study, we work, why ? So that we get married to a good girl and then have a secure future.

Looks ..wow..again a tough one..my teachers told me that looks and a good dressing sense are the prerequisites of a good personality..even my mother wants a beautiful girl for me. But then if everyone wants a good looking spouse then what will happen of those who are not as good looking ?
Any ways, but are looks that important ? I guess personality does not comprise of looks one single percent…at all..I was thinking that after a certain age all of us will look the same, and how does looks help me to be a better person.
I read somewhere that according to a study, good looking people progress faster in corporates than others…wow..I need to get some plastic surgery..

GOD = ( You + Me + Love ) - Religion

2010-03-07T07:33:00.000-08:00

Just came back home after watching this new film " My name is Khan". The Film is about a man, who wants to tell every one, that he is a Muslim and and not a terrorist. It is about how he goes through all the difficulties and finally meets the president of the United States and tells him that he is not a terrorist.

The film makes me ask these questions again :

1. Is God divided by religion??
2. Does God want us to kill those who do not believe in religion??
3. Did God make religion??

I am sure the people around me, will always give very vague answers to all these questions. When I ask myself so as to what is religion and who is God; what is their connection, there is a different answer to each of these three questions.

God is someone I don’t know who,but someone who has created everything and has very specifically designed a system that runs this planet and life on it.

Religion is something made by man which makes him feel closer to God, but the interpretation of which has led to big, big divides between humanity.

I am sure God did not make religion because if He had, then there would have been one religion all across the planet. People kill in the name of religion but if God wants us to kill then he wouldn’t have created us in the first place .
Why would He himself destroy something He himself has made??

There certainly are many questions more which are unanswered but I’m sure they will be soon.

All of me.

2010-03-06T10:22:00.000-08:00

All of me

why not take all of me

cant u see

Iam a mess without you

Take my eyes

I want to loose them

Take my Arms

I promise Ill never use them

Your Goodbye left me

with eyes that cry

How can i go on dear without you

you took that part

that once was my heart

So why not take all of me

Iam a mess without you

Can't you see??

Now i know it.

2010-03-06T07:34:00.001-08:00

Sometimes I just want to let the grasses nimble fingers
Pull our bodies into the dirt
And let the hour hand spin a thousand times around
While downy clouds tumble playfully in the sky
And it's the times when your lips fit onto mine

And I wish that every night I could dose off
And count each breath you take that forces my head to rise and fall
While the tune of your heart engraves its heavy beat into my dreams

Sometimes something as simple as my extent of knowledge on the night sky
That burns your image to my eyes
And keeps me wondering if you know more about stars than I do
Or if you also notice them racing across the black sky
Like flies across a ceiling in the dark

It's the little things you do
Like writing words delicately on my skin
That springs brand new thoughts into my mind
Maybe you're the reason I smile so much
And maybe now I really do feel what they describe in childhood fairytales

i believe

2010-03-06T07:33:00.001-08:00

i love to live

& i live to love

god has blessed me with a heart

n iam always ready to give.

the world is so beautiful

& all is so perfect

the choice is ours we have to select.

i love you god

for u've given me all

& i know u'll always be there

whenever i fall.

the way u've made me

i shall always stand tall.

whenever you are there,

there can't be any fear

coz love is to spend

so the devil can't stand near.

iam your son and will be till eternity

my belief shall never die, till the end of humanity.